How I use the LiveJournal Friends List I don't really have a 'Friends List' policy beyond:
If I want to read your LJ and am happy to have you able to see mine I might add you.
I won't be offended if you friend me without permission, I may or may not friend you back.
I am unlikely to become very upset if you defriend me and am unlikely to let you know if I defriend you.
If I defriend you and this upsets you feel free to email me to discuss.
If you are on my friends list you can find my online contact details here. I'm happy to receive IMs, I use them like the telephone, or even for quick "Hi, hope you're oks". I am constantly endeavouring to be a better email and indeed snail mail correspondent.
I don't play "disability tennis", that where people claim their disability is worse than your disability. Everyone is affected by different things differently. We all have different levels of spoons, and cope and other (possibly non LJed) stuff. I won't allow anyone to play disability tennis in this LJ.
An ethos I am trying to live by: 'when dealing with an issue that gets people upset, think less about their actions and your feelings and more about your actions and their feelings' - framed so nicely by lovingboth
Sayings worth remembering for myself: "Hormones are like printers, they all suck."